why..

this is crazy.. i've seen 2 fortune tellers.. both saying i shouldn't invest in this business..
i can't believe my parents are so into this kinda things.. maybe its b/c my parents aren't that educated.. outta 10 things the asshole says.. 9 are totally out.. and my mum actually believes that fucking 1 thing..

yes correct.. night life is kinda messy and sleazy.. but come on lah.. its my interest.. can't they at least understand me a bit and give me some support.. which 22 year old kid's proposal can outshine liquid kitchen, harry's and eurobar(dunno spell correct not).. my proposal made it and we got the place.. don't they at least feels proud ?

recently a bar manager got killed.. they are like linking this dead person to me ! wat ppl take drugs lah.. got fight lah got this got that lah.. knn lah.. wat if i kena wack lah.. wat if ppl sabo me lah, put drugs in my store lah.. wat if i got drunk and die somewhere lah.. wat if my ass lah..

my mum.. bloody hell.. as much as i love her.. she got a freaking big mouth lah.. shes a damn tai tai that read the chinese papers.. chit chat all day with 3 aunt 6 grandma.. play mahjong.. she noes nuts about wat happening outside.. and you noe how chinese papers emphasized on those dumb dumb news.. all friends and relatives thinks that bar are messy.. so.. ya ppl wil say why dun wan work in office lah.. why dun wanna go study lah.. knn.. fuck u all ignorant no ambition aunties and uncles.. use your fucking cow sense lah..

the damn world is changing.. singapore.. IR's coming up.. casinos coming up.. u want to make money in sg.. cb.. work under ppl and kena step meh.. i dun wanna end up working under ppl all my life.. i wan to be a fucking boss.. i wan to provide for my family.. i am ambitious.. i am smart.. i got it all in me.. i am flexible.. i am willing to work hard..

please give mi some support and trust lah.. its a turning point in my life.. i make it.. waa laa.. you have face also right ? think on the bright side lah..

i still love them a lot.. they are still the best no matter wat..

faith..

inconsiderate assholes..

i would consider myself a rather considerate person.. i am sensitive to other feelings.. i dun like to piss or hurt ppl as well as i dun like others to do likewise..

early this morning this event jus make mi hate myself as a singaporean..

here how it goes..

i happen to always take the lift down with a really old ah pek in his 60s or 70s, this morning, i was running late and had decided to hail a cab.. i saw that ah pek standing there using his umbrella as a walking stick.. he could barely walk..

so... too soft hearted to intercept rite ? let the ah pek get the cab 1st lah.. normally i will go further in front .. i sat down at the bus stop waiting for him to get his cab..

ahh... wat pissed me off so much is i keep seeing uncles and aunties in their 20s and 30s intercepting the poor ah pek.. forgive me .. i felt real bad for the ah pek.. the wind was strong, cold and that poor ah pek flagged at every single cab.. cos he didn't noe red means occupied.. and the intercepting goes on for 45 mins..

really hate myself for not doing anything for the ah pek.. wats the point of having good thoughts.. need to put in some actions man..

how those aunties and uncles bear to do this.. don't they feel bad .. wat if the ah pek is in a hurry.. he might have some illness.. fuck.. its not that they didn't see him.. they saw and they chose to ignore.. the ah pek couldn't do anything to those ppl..

bah.. anyway ya i missed my run this morning trying to let the ah pek get his cab 1st.. curse those inconsiderate pplz...

lastly, guys .. spare a thought for others and put yourself in their shoes lah..

wat goes ard comes ard..

sign off..

wat i didn't say..

There was a boy who I liked.

He liked metoo,well that's what I was told...but one day I was walkingtoclass and I heard someone call my name when Iturned around he was there..."Wait up!" he called.I waited for a few seconds and let him catch upthen once he did I started walking again."You need something?" I asked"Yea... a favor." he said."Sure what is it?" I asked."Go out with me." he said with a gleam in his eyes."ok... sure."I said secretly jumping with joy in mymind.

He walked me to class and kissed me goodbye...then the late bell rang and he sprung downthe hall to get to class. He walked me to classevery day and Kissed me every day and he waswith me every chance he got. Then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and months turned into a year and he still ran to catchup with me.

It was the day of our one yearanniversary and he walked me to class gave me abox and a kiss...then he whispered into my ear..."I love you." then he left. I opened the gift and it wasa ring...a gorgeous ring.

That night we were out atdinner to celebrate and all he surprisedme...AGAIN..."You know how I said that I loved you?"he asked"yea?" I got really nervous...."I really do you know I love you."I didn't say anything and I knew he wanted me tosay it but I didn't want to seem stupid so I stuffed food in my mouth and he didn't say anything but Icould tell he was disapointed.

We got done eating and he was driving me home at the red light heturned and looked at me..."Why won't you say you love me? don't you loveme like I love you?" he asked,I didn't know what to say I loved him more than I could imagine but I just didn't know how or when to say it...

"I...I...lov...."BOOM!!!!!!!!!! a semi had hit the driver side andrammed us right into a lake.The next day I was inthe hospital and all I could think about was if hewas ok...so I got out of my bed and searched forhim...but when I found him he was barelyalive...seeing the one I loved near death made medrop to my knees and cry...

"I love you...I've loved you since the first day wemet. I love you soooo much don't you leave meplease don't leave me I need you here...I LOVEYOU!!!!"With his very last breath he said..."I love you too." then he was gone.

A week later I was able to go home but I wasn'tready to face school yet and my mom understood.I went up to my room and I found a note inside thering box...."I hope you like this ring. It was my grandma's shetold me to give it to the one I love and well I loveyou. No matter what happens to me I will always love you. If I died today I want to die knowing youlove me...I won't leave this earth without knowingyou love me. You're always in my heart foreveruntil the day I die.

please dun judge a book by its cover.. it only prove that u are simple minded..

wake me up when september ends

This is wat happened this weekend..

09.09.05
met up with fellow camp mates and qing to wala wala.. EIC was playing there.. and lydia's bf happens to be part of the band too.. made a dedication for fellow friends there.. and were called kiddy officers to be due to the fact that our commission parade is on children's day 1st of Oct.. had our supper jus opppsite at breko.. Burnt Chix ~~ good call : )

10.09.05
Sentosa in the day was hell fun : ) had camp mates , half of the swines , lydia and friends down at sunset bay.. i could still recall visiting sunset bay every week in my poly years.. with jia shan and companies .. man i do love the sun the beach and the sea.. and of cos the babes ~ Lol

Usual clubbing session at nite at mo mo .. azmi ~~~ sign up for membership.. shouldn't spend money like that though.. kinda envy him .. always wanted to be rich ~~ do not know if i wan to sign on or persue my studies.. made azmi drank a mix of guiness + chivas ~~ he got quite high i think .. glad hes havng fun.. jason and jeffery my bestest of pals made my nite man ~~ well .. due to the visit to sentosa.. i was quite shagged out.. decide to spend my nite listening to this cool band "Definition" ..

11.09.05
slept for 2 hours and made my way down to Shears bridge run with jason.. was quite tiring.. JASON bail half way and didn't inform mi!! could have joined him ~~ had lunch at marina and wasted the rest of the day in bed..

12.09.05
had this lame wing cohesion thingy at palau ubin.. cycled here and there.. but a good get away from the hectic city we live in .. bryan, maurice and myself showered over at azmi's house and headed off to town.. bryan left us for rae(his date for comms ball).. maurice azmi and myself decided to stone outside taka and vain pots being vain pots~~ keep tooking picture of ourselves.. lol like girl.. hang ard till maurice's gf (serene) and cuiqing came down.. dinner was at pepper lunch.. bryan brought along rae and zen (THUNDER).. some really ugly and fat bitch.. my heart really bleed for bryan.. bryan .. lets jus hope she worth it ok ? cheer up man..

caught longest yard.. nice but not realistic show.. how could a prison be so cool and etc etc..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tough time dun last, tough man do..

basic military training and officer cadet course is almost over.. bring thru hell a lot of shit.. i think my tears will roll during the parade~~ man i have been with these comrades for wat.. almost a year.. gonna missed them real bad after we got posted elsewhere.. can't believe my pc and instructors all recommended me for infantry pc.. guess i have my way with people..

ciaoz~

fever~

finally.. its almost the end of the officer cadet course, 20th aug 2004 is the day i enlisted, since that day, its being 1 year plus.. well times flies when u are looking back at it.. but when u are going thru the tough time, it seem forever.. lol..

i am down with fever at home.. as well as my dad and bro.. fever is ok but i hate the joints aches and lethargic me thats comes with it.. wats with singapore.. there's so many fever cases ard now.. slept and eat like a freaking pig at home..